I think it is time for "T"

An explanation of the crack in the hull of the SS Great Britain. Since, as in this notice, ships are referred to as 'she', who is the 'His'? The other interesting thing is that the ship had sat on the sea floor for 33 years without the wind and some 24000 tides breaking her in half so the last sentence is a tad dramatic.

[SS Great Britain exhibition, Bristol, UK - 28 October 2006]

There's this great new tool called Spellcheck!

Again, not a sign, but far too good to not share with you all.

Then again, perhaps it is a 'sign'

Too late! - I looked

Driving west towards Vancouver on Highway 1 there was a motorway information sign, the type they use for variable signs about traffic conditions etc. It read "FOCUS ON THE ROAD", but by then it was too late, I had taken my focus off the road and read the sign!

[9 October 2006]

What is the world record for throwing flies?

How far can the average person throw a fly?

Or, perhaps it is something to do with baseball?

[Thames Festival, London September 2006]

Ummmm, including this notice?

[Haberdasher's Hall, London September 2006]

Braille roadsigns for blind drivers

We can, exclusively, reveal secret tests of the new braille road signs. Remember folks, you saw it here first - this will not be reported anywhere else on the Web.

[Braemar, Scotland - September 2006]

There is something fishy about this sign

[Snapped by Dean Finnie in Cape Town]

Circular gravity discovered

This sign is helpfully placed at the top of a cliff. You will have to take my word for it that there is absolutely nowhere a rock could fall on you from if you can read this sign. Therefore the rocks have to drop off the eroding cliff at your feet, circle up around and fall on your head. Unfortunately climatic conditions were such that the phenomenon was not happening on the day we were there.

[St Andrews, Scotland - August 2006]

I thought it was cakes that were liable ...

These are all over Scotland. Considering the numbers of foreign drivers on the roads I am sure the single word "Ice" would be more easily comprehended than this mouthful. Notice, too, the hinges: these signs were able to be closed when the message was inappropriate yet we saw dozens when we toured in the height of summer!

[Scotland, August 2006]

'All' has been redefined

I guess the fact that the 'All Butter' twists had Cheese in them was a bit of a give-away but even so a look at the ingredient list shows that 'All' now equals 29%.

[At an M&S store near you]

P.S. They are very scrummy

Stating the obvious, but not clear for all to see - 2

Sighted visitors can see that these interpretation boards are written in braille, the blind visitors cannot see the word "Braille" on the post, so what is the point of putting it there?

[National Botanical Gardens of Wales]

Stating the obvious, but not clear for all to see

In case its is hard to decipher, the sign reads. "New sign required"

[Goodnestone, Kent UK]

"Caught" in the act

Unless, of course, the sign on the other side of the pole says, "Reading of signs prohibited"

[Kennet & Avon Canal, 20 August 2006]

Startling revelations from the Dairy industry

Although, come to think of it, isn't milk the one thing that butter doesn't contain? My understanding of the butter production process is that the cream is skimmed off and separated from the milk and the cream is churned into butter while the milk is used for other purposes.

[On a restaurant butter pat somewhere near you]

They need to get back to the Book ...

Isaiah 40:31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Psalm 37:9 but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

How do they tell if you are waiting or loitering?

[Joe, who found this in Caledonia, Ontario, Canada always thought there were only 10 commandments.]

A public body with a sense of humour??

Spotted by Pat Bays.

[near Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada]

Who writes this rubbish?

How, exactly, does a camera enforce traffic?

And why do they use a pictogram of a camera that most people could not identify with? When did you last see a camera with an expanding bellows lens arrangement?

(Although, if you squint and imagine hard, you can see the profile of a dog's head with a muzzle on it's snout.)

[On a street, any town, all over the UK]

Battery's not included?

OK, so where do I plug my battery shaver in?

[At a Travelodge near you.]

Answers on another postcard, please.

Thinking caps on again. What is this sign saying?

[Found by Clare, I know not where.]

And the winner is ...

Time to close competition number one. As with all good competition conclusion speeches, "The quality of the entries was extremely high and the judges found it very hard to come to a conclusion. They would like to thank all the entrants and are disappointed that you could not all win etc, etc, blah, blah ..."

The real answer, as supplied by Prasad, was that the sign is posted on the way to a beach in the Harihareshwar, India, area. It's supposed to warn motorists of people who are so taken by the sudden appearance of the sea that they may be running towards it.

Well, THAT was obvious wasn't it?

I am going to give first place to Cal with "when dancing, beware of spontaneous decapitation ..." and a close second to Teutsch with "Help! Man stuck in triangle!"