Pomp and Circumstance ...

.... or just ordinary circumstance?

[Spotted by our ever vigilant South African reporter, Dean Finnie, in Gordon's Bay.]

Let's play "Confuse the postman."

Is this building;
a) 1 - 10 John Street or
b) 1 - 11 John Adam Street?
Think carefully as we want to carve your answer in stone.
I will give you a clue: The building directly opposite is number 8.

[One of these streets, London, UK - Feb 2008]

That's an expensive gum wrapper

So just how brave are you sonny? A penalty of £400 if you deposit your litter in this handy rubbish bin we have provided at the foot of this notice.

[Layby on the A40, Oxfordshire, UK - 9 Feb 2008]

Looking AND listening?

If you do speak to ... the driver's vision will it hear you?

[London Transport bus, February 2008]

I'm am complying, Officer, honest!

Any person who puts up daft notices shall be known as a twit and may be liable to be a laughing stock.

[Found in South Africa by Dean Finnie]

"Fine" by me ...

For more silly quote marks visit here

[Dean strikes again]

Hopefully the non-goats can read

[Another of Finnie's finds]

So, why can't I swim then?

Isn't the middle line redundant?

[Spotted by the ever observant Dean in Sth Africa]

So how does that work, then?

What I would like to know is how you have a sale at a betting shop? Is there some clever way of losing less than usual?

[East Lane, London - January 2008]

Now here's a quandary

How does the poor disabled driver park without stopping? Brendan, who spotted this at his local store would be pleased to know.

Don't let the staff make signs.

Here is a crop from the readers:


Tim found this at the local liquor store.

Andrea does not say what this store sold but was pleased to note that riding was allowed. Get out of that trolley immediately, Andrea!

And Craig spotted this at his local liquor store. Is there a pattern here?

Wouldn't a knife make a cleaner cut?

[London, 19 January 2008]

Get out and push.

There's a sign at the edge of my town that says "USE OF ENGINE BRAKES PROHIBITED" but it's printed in such a way that it looks like drivers can use neither the engine nor the brakes until they leave town.

Marcie, Leesburg, VA, USA

[If you look closely there is an alteration and it begs the question of whether the original sign said 'Use of engines brakes probihited' -Murray]

Stop slowly?

Take an international shape and colour combination, change two letters and what have you got? Confusion.

[Spotted at the intersection of Billy Conn Avenue and 5th Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA and contributed by Matthew H.]

Are they specific to the locality?

JayTee found this sign while cruising the canals and has concluded there's a hotline for everything these days.

What is the correct dog-to-lead ratio?

What is the maximum permitted number of dogs per lead?

[Chilterns, UK 25 Nov 2007]

Which road, where?

Close-up of this sign in the middle of a paddock in Wiltshire.

Mrs Pee???

What a name for a floating port-a-loo!

[Kenet and Avon Canal - 17 Nov 2007]

Wow - that IS unusual!

A deep lake, with untreated water - whatever next?

Nene Valley Waterpark, Peterborough, UK - 21 Oct 2007

So which way to room 323?

From experience, I can tell you it is not to the right.

[Hayley Conference Centre, Ettingham Chase - 19 Oct 2007]

"Live" traffic???

What does dead traffic look like?
Surely
"traffic" is traffic. If it is not traffic is it parked cars.

[Matlock, UK. - 22 Sept 2007]

You can catch them but not clean them

We know that you are not allowed to clean fish in the toilets but obviously there are some specialist anglers who can fish there.

[Capesthorne Hall, Cheshire, UK -12 Aug 2007]

Boy, I'm sure glad they mentioned that!

Caroline found this sign in the bathrooms at the top of Haleakala (the volcano) in Maui. She rightly asks, "Do they really think that people might consider drinking toilet water???!!!"

Maybe, you are so thirsty after the climb that desperation might lead .....

Nah!

[But can you clean fish?]

Does no one check?

Maybe 'Lockal' rabbits are a new breed? Perhaps this restaurant serves them for lounch?

Thanks to Peter Debono for these two.

Huh????

Semi-amphibious vehicles must keep one wheel on dry-land?

[Ironbridge gorge - 9 June 2007]

Walk it at your peril!

Given that many English street names came from trades undertaken there: Bread St, Butchers Row, Mill Rd, Dairy Lane, etc one wonders about the story behind this sign.

[Shrewsbury, UK - 10 June 2006]

Anti-resurrectionists at large?

Fortunately this sign was not erected at a grave-yard ....

[Little Paxton Nature Reserve - 3 June 2007]

Push or pursue?

Paul Geering, who spotted this near a ramp down to an underpass in Cardiff, Wales, wants to know: Is this sign
A) Actually encouraging people to push wheelchair bound people down the ramp?
or,
B) Is it reminding you to chase after your friend if they are out of control?

Falling rocks? Where?

An artist with a sense of humour.

[Presernov trg, Ljubljana 20 May 2007]

Clever!

Laura spotted this on a boat on Loch Ness.

A local joke to get the message across.

[December 2006 - Loch Ness, Scotland]

A Poor Losers Rant?

Spotted by Craig in Austria

[28 March 2007, Feldbach, Austria]

Stating the obvious

If you can read these words then clearly someone is not sitting on the seat and the seat is, thus, 'not in use'. I imagine what they really meant to say was "Do NOT Use Seat".

[No 245 Bus, London - 10 May 2007]

At last: Proof of The Commutative Law of Geography

If Newton is by Toft then it follows that Toft must be next to Newton: Simple!

There is a quaint sort of, self-referencing, circular logic to these town names, and since there is no "Newton" and no "Toft", the full names must be something like, "Newton by Toft next Newton by Toft next Newton by Toft next Newton by ....." (until you run out of envelope)

[Lincolnshire, UK - 22 April 2007]

Spoilsports!

There is nothing I enjoy more than motor cycling through deep water!

[Middle Nene Sailing Club, Thrapston, UK - 1 April 2007] (Perhaps the date is significant?)

Fine details

The last Barcelonian curiousity is the sign in all the Metro carriages telling passengers what is probibited and the fines for breaking the rules. All quite straightforward and clear in three languages. However, I found the fine for smoking to be somewhat curious (sorry no picture). If caught smoking the fine is 30.05 Euro. Why the .05? Will that little extra really discourage those who can afford the 30 Euro?

[Barcelona 26 February 2007]

Barcelona strikes again.

A number of Barcelona's fountains display this fine pair. 'No swimming' is obvious but the other one????

"If you swim here lightning will strike you in a very painful place"?

Suggestions please.

[Barcelona - 25 February 2007]

First, no playing and now - no walking

A number of parks in Barcelona have this trio of signs. 'No football', I can understand; 'No Dogs' is quite clear; but 'No walking in the park' seems a little strict.

[Barcelona - 25 February 2007]

Wouldn't dream of it ...

Play in a park? What a crazy notion! Everyone knows parks are really there for ...

[Snapped by (another) Murray while ignored by Max in Victoria Park, Nuwara Eliya, Sri Lanka - January 2007]

Is this an international phenomenon?

A question posed by Joe James who snapped and forwarded this matching shot.

Perhaps they are constantly putting out the trash?

The sign on the door says, "No Parking. In Constant Use."

The small green sign says, "Another service provided by Islington Council."

I wonder what that service is?

[Old Finsbury Town Hall, London, UK - 27 January 2007]

So now we know who is responsible!

[Oxford St, London, UK. November 2006]

Warning! Birds evolving in flight.

Other suggestions welcome.
(Maybe a local can translate?)


[Spotted by Laura on summer vacation in the north Fjords of Iceland, 2006]

Now here's a novel idea ...

Who would have thought it? Fancy getting tickets from a ticket office - but only if you haven't already done so.

[Spotted by in Iceland by Laura from Italy,
Stykkisholmur Harbour Summer 2006]

I think it is time for "T"

An explanation of the crack in the hull of the SS Great Britain. Since, as in this notice, ships are referred to as 'she', who is the 'His'? The other interesting thing is that the ship had sat on the sea floor for 33 years without the wind and some 24000 tides breaking her in half so the last sentence is a tad dramatic.

[SS Great Britain exhibition, Bristol, UK - 28 October 2006]

There's this great new tool called Spellcheck!

Again, not a sign, but far too good to not share with you all.

Then again, perhaps it is a 'sign'

Too late! - I looked

Driving west towards Vancouver on Highway 1 there was a motorway information sign, the type they use for variable signs about traffic conditions etc. It read "FOCUS ON THE ROAD", but by then it was too late, I had taken my focus off the road and read the sign!

[9 October 2006]