It’s a lottery

What? Whether the windows fit? Whether they are delivered to the correct installation address? You need to be a lottery winner to afford them?

[On a road in Oxfordshire, UK - Nov 2008]

The curse of the O-O-O reply

Swansea Council wanted to discourage truckies but the Welsh reads "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated."

Oh, the dangers of bilingual signs and the Out-of-Office auto-reply.

[Collected on the web - various news sites 1 Nov]

Oh, you mean the ‘other’ right?

Ben Thorman found this one somewhere, he was left perplexed.

Healthy Eating

John presumes that since the foods that are good for you (i.e. the Nutritional Foods) are right next to the cookies; the foods that aren't nutritious are probably over by the fruits and vegetables.

My concern is that “Lunch Packs” are clearly a different category to “Nutritional Foods”. What are they feeding the children these days?

[Found by John Miller (presumably in a supermarket somewhere) ]

Hot Dogs? Loaves and fishes?

Becky was chagrined that she could not work out what this place might sell when she saw the sign in Chagrin Falls, Ohio.
Perhaps it is a pet crematorium?

It was worth making a sign about …

Presumably if the stuff is worthless it is because it is non-operating equipment?

Why don’t they sell the worthless dam stuff on ebay like everyone else?

[Spotted by Holly Rogers at a mill/dam in Manotick, Ottawa (Ontario, Canada) 2007 ]

Simply brilliant!

As this is in the UK it is undoubtably the product of months of work by a very expensive and highly paid consultant, but what a brilliant idea for a new 'safety scheme' - we all drive carefully.

Why on earth didn't someone think of that before?

[Outskirts of Bracknell - July 2008]

That's gotta hurt

A totally new method of regulating the size of the family.

I trust they do some planning before they start planing, in order to minimise the blood loss.

[Spotted by Todd Hintz at the Walgreens drugstore in St. Louis Park, MN on March 15, 2008 and he noted that both sides of the sign were misspelled. ]
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Dads and Diaper Disasters

Now, I know that we Fathers have a bit of a bad rep when it comes to nappies; but calling us physically challenged just becasue we don't achieve as neat a job as the Mums is a bit steep.

Another Finnie find, at the Cape Town Aquarium.

Free Billy

Not exactly a silly sign, per se, but Bradley thought it might amuse us.

He found it on the internet; no idea of location or authenticity.

Lighter than ....?

Dave saw this posted on a swingset in Maine, USA.

Could it be ...

No Entry?
No Touching?
No Dirty Hands?
or as Virginia would like: No High Fives?

Spotted by Virginia Brow while travelling in Germany

Still growing

This is a sign just around the corner from where we live. It's been amusing me for a while but I've resisted taking a photo as I'm never sure whether others will appreciate my humour.

Anyway, here it is. What amuses me is the fact that this sign is begging to be misread as the name for the new centre is in fact 'Under Construction' which isn't the most inspiring or romantic name for a children's centre.

Dean

Ed. I guess children are 'under construction' so it may be the final name - you will have to wait and see.

"Im" not impressed

I wonder how many of these BrytaHomes had printed without proof-reading.

[North London, March 2008]
Apologies for the poor quality, I did not realise there was so much dust on the phone camera lens.

Bah humbug!

A "No Entry" sign for Santa?

[On a chimney in Oia, Santorini, Greece - March 2008]

A cautionary tale about Fujifilm FinePix cameras.

We have owned both the Fujifilm FinePix F10 and and the Fujifilm FinePix F30. In July 2005 we chose the F10 because of its superb low-light capabilities. However, in November 2006, not long after the warranty expired it failed with spots in the optics. These "splodges" show up worst against a blue sky and only appear when the zoom is in use.

Comparing the cost for fixing the F10 and the trade-up deal that Fuji offered, we traded up to the F30. This new camera was still under warranty when it failed in a similar fashion to the F10. It was repaired and returned with us only having to pay for recorded delivery. A few months later the repaired unit failed, again, in exactly the same way.

We are extremely careful with our cameras and always close the camera after shots so I do not believe that this fault is caused by misuse. When the camera is not faulty we are very happy with the quality of the resulting pictures and the use and features of the camera but we are extremely annoyed that two cameras should have failed in similar ways three times.

As we had a holiday booked we could not afford to be without the camera for the repair period, even though the turn-around is fairly quick. Despatched on a Monday the camera is usually back in our hands the following week but since we use the camera most weekends even this much delay is quite annoying.

So, we set off to Greece with a faulty camera and finally, on the last day of our holiday, it occurred to me that we could hide the defects by holding the camera upside down thus putting the sky in the unblemished lower half of the frame. Not only was this a little awkward to use but it meant flipping every image; which is a tad tedious. However it is a small price to pay compared to the amount of photo editing I shall have to do on all the other spoiled images.

On our return we sent the F30 off for repair and were told that the problem was such that the "accidental damage" would be repaired free of charge but that our 3-year accidental damage cover was now void. What a rip-off: 3-year cover that expires the moment you use it!

To make matters worse, the camera that Fuji returned to us was an A350 that belonged to someone else. We don't yet know where our F30 is.

8 August
Still waiting for my camera and it now transpires that Fuji Superwarranty are holding it hostage until I return the one THEY sent me in error. I have been attempting to return the A350 since I received it but they have not supplied the means to do so although they keep promising they will. Since I am in the centre of London, it cannot be that difficult to get a courier to call by and collect a small packet, but so far it has not happened in two weeks.

Quite why I am being inconvenienced because of their mistakes, inefficiency and ineptitude is beyond me.

Moral of the tale: If you rely on your camera, make sure it is not a Fuji that needs regular repairs.

11 August
Finally, I have a camera.

Fuji have supplied me with a brand-new Finepix F40fd as compensation for the hassles and presumably because my F30 is still lost. The bag that I have been awaiting for so long to return the camera sent in error arrived in the same package so the other owner will be reunited with their camera shortly.

All is forgiven ....??? I'll let you know.

November 08
Brand new F40fd has failed already. Back to Fuji, more postage costs for repair.

May 2009
Failed again, same issue. Finally totally fed up - went and purchased a Canon PowerShot G10.
F40fd back to Fuji once more.

I bet the dictionaries were cheap

[Snapped by Jason Seasen in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada]

Pomp and Circumstance ...

.... or just ordinary circumstance?

[Spotted by our ever vigilant South African reporter, Dean Finnie, in Gordon's Bay.]

Let's play "Confuse the postman."

Is this building;
a) 1 - 10 John Street or
b) 1 - 11 John Adam Street?
Think carefully as we want to carve your answer in stone.
I will give you a clue: The building directly opposite is number 8.

[One of these streets, London, UK - Feb 2008]

That's an expensive gum wrapper

So just how brave are you sonny? A penalty of £400 if you deposit your litter in this handy rubbish bin we have provided at the foot of this notice.

[Layby on the A40, Oxfordshire, UK - 9 Feb 2008]

Looking AND listening?

If you do speak to ... the driver's vision will it hear you?

[London Transport bus, February 2008]

I'm am complying, Officer, honest!

Any person who puts up daft notices shall be known as a twit and may be liable to be a laughing stock.

[Found in South Africa by Dean Finnie]

"Fine" by me ...

For more silly quote marks visit here

[Dean strikes again]

Hopefully the non-goats can read

[Another of Finnie's finds]

So, why can't I swim then?

Isn't the middle line redundant?

[Spotted by the ever observant Dean in Sth Africa]

So how does that work, then?

What I would like to know is how you have a sale at a betting shop? Is there some clever way of losing less than usual?

[East Lane, London - January 2008]

Now here's a quandary

How does the poor disabled driver park without stopping? Brendan, who spotted this at his local store would be pleased to know.

Don't let the staff make signs.

Here is a crop from the readers:


Tim found this at the local liquor store.

Andrea does not say what this store sold but was pleased to note that riding was allowed. Get out of that trolley immediately, Andrea!

And Craig spotted this at his local liquor store. Is there a pattern here?

Wouldn't a knife make a cleaner cut?

[London, 19 January 2008]